Sunday, December 28, 2008

Honesty – My 2009 New Year’s Resolution

Been thinking about the New Year arriving in about three days time and which resolution I wanted to choose. I always pick resolutions that are basic enough, that at the end of the year you feel you have managed to achieve the rule you have set yourself. In the past couple of years by resolutions have been ‘Break Out Of Your Shell’ and something similar, which in some sense I achieved.

Some people do have a habit of breaking resolutions by the first weeks of January, but I follow my pattern so whatever surprises the New Year does bring, I can face it no matter what happens. I’m different to how I was a couple of years ago after promising to myself to break out of my shell and it’s a promise I’m still working on. I don’t like being so shy or to feel trapped by my surroundings but sometimes that’s how I feel.

Which leads me to pick Honesty as a Resolution for the New Year. Recently I’ve been in a cycle of agreeing with other people when I doubt the decisions they made were correct. Then behind close doors I would regret the decision, wasting time going over what happen in my head until I’m either tired or lose interest. Plus I never say what I want to say at the right moment in person, ask what’s happening until the last minute or don’t ask questions for situations I have trouble to understand at time and then repeat the same cycle as above.

So for people who know me or know me a little bit, I’ve picked a good resolution. It’s just up to me to make this promise to myself happen. I’ve talked in previous status (now using twitter http://twitter.com/bs10064) about how certain people have made me felt invisible in a crowded room and it’s with Honesty will give me the confidence to ask ‘What’s the Problem?’ The fact that the person I come across as and the person I actually am can be two different people and you want the latter to be true.

But it’s being scared of being honest that will bother me the most, as I’m naturally a nice person. I use to speak my mind many years ago, be cruel to be kind when it was needed. Just that part of me got lost sometime ago and would like to find that part of me again. This next year it’s so important to stand up for what I want to happen and depending on which direction I take, so many things can go right and so many can go wrong. But whatever happens in 2009, being Honest is the best step to take.

I was Honest with admitting my feelings in a previous blog post, I just need to be Honest in person and God knows it’s hard for me, but it’s something that needs to be done.

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